Indiereader review

4.5 stars (out of five)

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“Psychologist and couples therapist Hagai Avisar offers a lot of practical and effective advice in THE GOOD HUSBAND “.

In the first chapter of THE GOOD HUSBAND (How to use your masculine strengths to benefit your family), psychologist and couples therapist Hagai Avisar dismantles the main tenets of the “’progressive’ ideology of social justice” which, he writes, “clashes with the innate differences between men and women.” This is necessary, he explains, because “The current cultural climate makes it hard to provide men with relationship guidance without the risk of upsetting some people…men find themselves under attack, and their masculinity is regularly associated with negative terms, such as ‘toxic,’ ‘traditional,’ ‘patriarchal hierarchy,’ ‘male privilege,’’ and more.” Once he has cleared the deck of these feminist-driven harms, Avisar focuses on the strategies men can use to nurture their marriage. His book, which has ten chapters over 301 pages, offers moral, emotional, intellectual, and practical support for husbands. His framework for addressing a range of issues that married couples face comprises four classical masculine archetypes: King, Lover, Magician, and Warrior.

Avisar explains each of these roles in detail, showing both their good and bad sides. “Men…find themselves trying to cope with new demands, expectations, and rules around power and gender roles that our male ancestors never had to face,” he writes. Each role is invoked for particular problems that a man might experience with his wife. Avisar does not blame women for these issues, though he does emphasize that a man should not tolerate conflict that is rooted in feminist beliefs about men. “When a man feels disempowered, shamed, and emasculated, his masculine strengths are suppressed and underutilized. Everyone loses,” he notes. But he also provides in-depth advice about how a husband should understand why his wife might react in particular and how he can reassure and protect her. “My humble aim is not to preach any ideology here, but to focus on what works for couples and to be as pragmatic as possible,” Avisar writes. “I am neither pro-men nor pro-women. I am pro-family; I am pro-children.”

~Kevin Baldeosingh for IndieReader

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