Relationship Rituals to Connect Amidst Chaos

Our previous videos showed how you can establish order through values, discipline, and family roles.  Today we focus on how rituals can enhance connection and ground you during times of uncertainty and confusion. 

Your family needs your leadership capacity, particularly for the mission of establishing order. This is because your wife is more vulnerable to the chaos that children create with their impulsive behaviors and high emotionality. In the parent-child dynamics, your unique position becomes an advantage to your family. Rituals are another example of how you can bring order to your family during times of chaos and confusion. 

First, let’s clarify how rituals differ from habits or routines. While habits and routines are automatic, rituals are intentional and performed with a sense of purpose. Habits and routines are mostly practical, while rituals carry emotional meaning and enhance connection.

Rituals have been important to humans since prehistoric times. The unpredictable behavior  of nature and humans provokes anxiety. Rituals help us restore order and certainty  through structure, meaning, and a sense of connection. 

Benefits of Rituals

Here’s how rituals work for us:

  • Provide a sense of control and predictability in an unpredictable world.
  •  Reinforce belonging and connection to something greater than yourself,  such as family, community, nation, nature, or God.
  •  Establish and maintain social order and hierarchy between parents and children.
  •  Help manage stress.
  •  Pass on values and norms to the young ones.
  •  Mark important life events such as birth, puberty, and marriage.
  •  Connect with the sacred and divine.

Rituals in Relationship

So when we consider relationship rituals, we aim to make the relationship less automatic and more conscious and intentional. 

Why it’s important? 

Because the demands on parents can be so overwhelming that all their emotional resources are exhausted by the tasks of childrearing and breadwinning. Not much is left for maintaining the mum-dad relationship.  This self-neglect often risks the survival of the family as a unit.

A relationship requires attention,  just like a plant needs water. Rituals of connection are like watering your relationship. They balance your reactive and automatic mode with meaningful activities of your choice. 

Practice

 As your practice, share with your partner the list of rituals that is displayed in the video.  Consider which rituals you both wish to incorporate into your routine. 

Good luck

 

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Relationship Rituals to Connect Amidst Chaos